Monday, December 29, 2008

come on..dont be emotional

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

Hari ini merupakan hari yg emotional bg aku. bukan masalah cinta, tetapi masalah dunia. Aku merasakan hati aku ini bagaikan dibakar, dipijak, dihenyak, dikipas-kipas untuk membarakan kemarahan. Aku tak boleh focus. Aku rasa mcm nak pukul orang, nak tengking kat orang, nak marah kat orang. Aku sedang melawan. Tapi aku tak tahu adakah aku akan menang dalam pertarungan ini. Tapi ini akan bertahan paling lame pun sehari.

Setiap hari kita mempunyai ujian masing2. Hari ini aku diuji dengan operator smart telecom yg sengal. Ble nak order broadband, tak de plak byk kerenah. Ble ade problem, byk plak kerenah die. Nak cakap ngan landlord la tu la ni la. Bukan landlord yg bayar pon, ini aku yg bayar. Sampah punye smart telecom. Bayar mahal mcm setan, service lembap mcm lintah kat umah aku. lintah umah aku pun lagi laju.

Lagi satu masalah duit. Duit duit duit. Kalau fikir pasal dunia ini, nak tido pun tak bleh. Nasib la ade islam yg menawarkan syurga untuk orang2 yg beriman dan bertakwa. Tak bleh nak pikir ke jgn menyusahkan orang, ikhtiar la. Buat yg terbaik. Aku pun tak tahu la. Setiap orang ujian lain2, bile sampai masa, ujian aku pun tak tahu mcm mane aku lalui.

Exam ni pon satu. Aduhhhhh!!!! Pasal ape la tak melekat kat kepala otak aku ni……umah aku pun sekarang kucar kacir. Itu lah ini lah. Mcm2 hal. Nak pindah lah….aku pun tak tahu la. Klo nak settle sume benda skrg, mmg increase intracranial pressure aku. dpt muhaimin’s syndrome (bulging of frontal lobe)

Semalam aku cuba berimaginasi tentang syurga. Waaaahhhhh, nikmatnya. Tapi aku sedar aku tak layak utk itu. Addduhhhh, sedihnya. Tapi, aku masih belum cukup berusaha untuk ke arah itu. Bayangkan wanita2 kat dunia pun cantik, kat akhirat bidadari, waaaaahhhh, mcm mane ek cantik die. Huh, membesar limbic system aku.

salam kebabish

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Mari mewujudkan satu tamadun baru

Assalamualaikum,

Kita adalah ummat yg paling hina di atas muka bumi ini sekarang. Lihat sahaja perlakuan kita, pemimpin2 kita, perlakuan org lain terhadap kita. Tiada keadilan dan harga diri kita umpama seketul tahi. Tiada siapa ambil peduli.

Kini, tamadun dunia dipegang oleh masyarakat yg jahiliyyah, gagal mengenal Tuhan sebenar dan berlandaskan nafsu semata-mata. Dan kita pula umpama bangkai biawak yg ditarik ekornya oleh meraka untuk dibawa ke mana sahaja yg mereka suka. Lihat sahaja kita sekarang, lebih bangga mengucapkan “hi” daripada “assalamualaikum”, lebih gembira memakai baju ketat dari pakaian yg menutup aurat, lebih gemar menonton x factor daripada hadir ke majlis2 agama. Manusia lupa tanggung jawab mereka.

Perpecahan yg berlaku antara kita adalah berpunca daripada diri kita sendiri. Bergaduh, fitnah antara satu sama lain, keji-mengeji, berlumba-lumba berlebih-lebihan dalam mencari kehinaan dunia. Masing-masing melakukan hal masing2. Tiada rasa kasih dan sayang antara kita.

Untuk membaiki hal ini, kita perlukan satu hala tuju yg jelas. Iaitu membina sistem khalifah islam yg telah terkubur berpuluh-puluh tahun yg lepas dan seterusnya wujudlah satu tamadun baru yg akan membebaskan manusia dari perhambaan sesama makhluk kepada perhambaan kepada Tuhan yg benar.

Bagaimana untuk mewujudkannya juga merupakan satu isu yg sering dibangkitkan. Ada yg gemar berpolitik, ada yg bermula dari bawah, ada yg tiada hala tuju dan perancangan dan yg lebih menyedihkan, ada yg langsung tidak mahu terlibat. Mereka merasakan mereka tidak akan mati dan menghadap pencipta mereka.

Untuk mencipta satu tamadun baru bukanlah singkat. Mungkin berpuluh-puluh tahun bahkan mencapai ratusan tahun. Namun, ini mengajar kita untuk melihat dengan lebih jauh lagi, bukan sekadar merancang plan 50 years, tapi merancang plan 500 tahun. Insyallah, ganjaranya sama2 kita peroleh. Tamadun yg kita akan bina bukanlah tamadun yg cikai2, tapi tamadun yg akan menjadi trend setter. Di saat itu, tiada lagi fitnah mengenai islam. Islam yg sebenarnya akan dipratikkan. Mudah lagi membawa ke jalan yg benar. Manusia akan melihat keajaiban wahyu apabila dipraktikan. Bila disebut sahaja islam, manusia tersenyum sambil mengucapkan kalimah yg teragung dan tertinggi. Lailahaillah.

Apabila diperkatakan tentang sistem khalifah islam, apakah yg anda bayangkan? Bagi diri ini, aku menggambarkan setiap manusia berjaya menegukkan air keadilan islam. Manusia melompat kegembiraan. Ummat islam bersatu dan berkasih sayang antara satu sama lain. Manusia mengenali batas2 mereka. Di sana, terdapat pemimpin2 yg faham dan ariff dalam bidang masing2. Mereka mencontohi Nabi SAW dan sahabat2. Tiada rasuah, kronism, nepotism. .

SALAM NASI AYAM

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

appreciation

assalamualaikum,

kadang2 aku terfikir, mengapa manusia perlukan tuhan dan agama? perlukan cinta? perlukan rakan2? sudah menjadi fitrah manusia, mereka perlukan sesuatu untuk merasakan diri mereka ini dinilai dan berharga. manusia sememangnya suka dipuji. manusia suka apabila kita menghargai kehadiran mereka dalam kehidupan seseorang. konflik timbul apabila, apa yg diharapkan tidak menjadi kenyataan.

oleh kerana itu, konsep ikhlas sgt membantu. dalam kehidupan, kita disarankan agar tidak mengharapkan penghargaaan dari manusia sebaliknya penghargaan dari ALLAH. tapi perlu disertakan dengan keimanan dan kesabaran menanti balasan dari ALLAH. jika mengharapkan penghargaan dari manusia, ramai yg kecewa dan kecundang akhirnya langsung tidak mahu melakukan apa2 kebajikan.

oleh kerana itu juga, manusia perlukan cinta. mereka perlukan seseorang yg mampu membuatkan diri ini berasa dihargai dan dicintai. dan seterusnya mereka terus bersemangat menempuh ujian2 dunia. malang sungguh kepada mereka yg gagal memberikan penghargaan kepada pasangan mereka.

oleh kerana itu, manusia perlukan kawan. perlukan penghargaan daripada kawan dan juga bimbingan.

sudah menjadi lumrah, manusia sukar memberi penghargaan tetapi mengharapkan org menghargai diri mereka. berikanlah penghargaan. sayangilah rakan disekeliling anda. dakaplah mereka dan ucapkanlah penghargaan kepada mereka. ziarahilah mereka dan katalah kita cinta kepada mereka. lakukanlah ini hanya kerana ALLAH. nescaya satu hari nanti, penghargaan ALLAH kepada kita lebih besar nilainya.

salam kambing korban

Sunday, December 14, 2008

End of time...... in Dublin.

Assalamua'laikum and hi,

Aahh......My time here is coming fast to an end. I'd just like to express the things I will miss, the things I look forward to in Penang and a bit of outlook into the future based on the past and present. Here they are:

What I will miss:

1. My friends and football accomplices here especially my partner in defense and in this blog; Muhaimin.
2. The four seasons especially autumn and winter coz they're not there in Malaysia.
3. Watching and cheering away for Chelsea and/or against Manchester United.
4. Pak Usop's Briyani rice,especially in Ramadhan.
5. Beaumont Hospital.
6. Eid festivities in Dublin.
7. A certain someone in Trinity College.
8. The nice and wonderful tutors + lecturers who have taught me a lot.
9. Peeking at the lovely and cute Sin*** Cr***n in between classes. Hihihi :p

Thank you to all the people who has made my life so wonderful for the past 3 years.

Things I look forward to in Penang:

1. Gaining a whole lot more of clinical experience with real patients. The regulation in Malaysia isn't that tight.
2. Food, food and food everywhere.
3. Being close to my family.
4. Playing futsal or football in Malaysian weather.

The future outlook:

I had a conversation with my Mom about 3 days ago. I told her about the disappearing act that I dreamed of ever since I came to Ireland. I told her that I wish I could go to a place where nobody has met me or knows me and start all over again. I know how difficult it is for someone to do this. In the conversation, I told mom I wanted to take the USMLE after I graduate and practice medicine somewhere else. The remote provinces of Saskatchewan in Canada or places like Waitarange in New Zealand seems like good places. I bet nobody has met me or even knows me there. I don't mind treating Red Indians or Kiwis. My mom was quiet. She finally said that this was all up to me because she could no longer dictate what I should be doing as I'm already 22. I could sense her sadness. This choice came up on my head because of the experience I've had before I arrived in Ireland. Even before that, throughout highschool I was never really happy. People used to called me Kong. It's not a nickname I really liked but I had to bear with it for 5 years. The experience after high school in a certain college was even worse. When I look back at all the pictures I took there, there were only a few pictures where I could find my self smiling. In all those pictures where I smiled, it seems Fauzi or Asrih was always there. Thank you to them. I could have ended up in a mental institution if they weren't there, seriously. Take a look at my facebook and compare the pictures of me in that college and in Ireland. That should be enough.

When I stepped back and tried to look at all this in a bigger picture, I ended up throwing away a lot of the values which I held before I came to Ireland. The main reason is the bad experience and treatment that I received from my own countrymen (schoolmates, some teachers, public officers and etc in Malaysia) compared to the wonderful experience and treatment that I've had in Ireland. It's not just there in the college (because MARA pays a lot to them) but even if I was just walking down O'Connell street after a busy day at Beaumont Hospital, smiles and kind gestures from drivers, pedestrians and shopkeepers never seems short. One shopkeeper who I'll always remember is the girl from the 2 Euro shop in O'Connell. She always smile at everyone. I go there weekly for my chocolate supplies. All these were non-existent in Malaysia. Due to the stark contrast of happiness in my country and in Ireland, that dream of disappearing appeared in my mind. I am no longer as patriotic as I was before and I am no longer proud of my Malay culture, not to mention the shitty Malaysian politics back home. My childhood dream of becoming a fighter pilot to defend my country is no longer there. The only value left intact is my faith in Allah and His messengers.

The disappearing act which I've described is all but a dream before and now. It's only a couple years before I graduate and when that time comes, I'll make a decision. Even if I were to disappear, I would still pay back my scholarship to MARA from abroad. It's not right for me to just leave in debt but what's really going to happen in the future, only God knows. Wallahuaa'lam.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Single vs double

Assalamualaikum,

In all my life, I am always be single. Never had a girlfriend before. May be because of my father successfully instill a mind set not to engage in any relationship while studying. Or may be just fail to find anyone compatible.

Here, I am trying to taste what is it like to be “double”. Well, didn’t end up with a relationship but I am grateful with that. It is great to be single, but sometimes I feel such a loser. But, at the same time, being “double” doesn’t make you become any better because your heart is not yours anymore, you feel how fragile you are and absolutely no focus at all. That is an absolute total loser isnt it?

Firstly I don’t agree with pre marital relationship. I am not willing to sacrifice my iman in order to fulfill my lust. Furthermore, I am not willing to spend my money, time, feelings and etc on something that I don’t know what to expect. I am willing to give commitment on something that I am sure of and I pray to ALLAH to show me the right path.

As for now, let the “cut” heals itself. May be for another two or three years. Then, I will come back with a well vaccinated heart, full of love, full of blood, full of experience and the most important thing is full of IMAN.

I think it is very difficult not to involved too much if I fall in love. But, I will do my best to refrain myself. I must prioritize my love towards ALLAH first. I hate to see myself thinking about something else more that ALLAH. I hate myself when I satisfy my lust. I hate to see myself and other people who know ALLAH is their GOD, but neglect their duties.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

now i know

assalamualaikum

know i know,
sekiranya kita tak kenal org tu, kite akan pandang mereka based on apa yg kite nampak je. sekiranya kita kenal mereka, kita akan pandang mereka berbeza. misalnya, bila aku nampak lecturer aku kat luar college, i noticed him as a ordinary person. tetapi, dalam lecture, dia nampak hebat. kat luar, klo tak kenal die nampak mcm someone who has nothing. cth: ronon conroy

know i know,
if u want to dislike people, dont dislike them forever. everytime u meet them, they will change. u make doa they will change. i am amazed when seeing people changing. dari amrican style, to the most pious muslim. from people wearing hijab, to not wearing hijab. from people wearing long tract bottom, to person wearing short. people change. stop having the same perception everytime seeing people. i hope i and u can change toward a better person. make a change know before it is too late. tomorrow is not yours.

know i know,
u cannot lie about love. please dont ask why loving. people can change from love to hate. people can change from hate to love. love comes without invitation. we ourself have to control it. shape ur love in your own way.


isk2
salam isk mega giga tera

Monday, December 1, 2008

Some footballing tips.

Week in and week out I play football whether indoor or outdoor and I see a lot of mistakes done on the pitch/court. I'm not a pro but here's a few basic tips for all the footie enthusiasts out there:

1. Football is never a one man show. You're playing in a team.
2. Play the pass.
3. Never cross the ball across your own goal, especially when you're inside the box/D.
4. Timing is everything.
5. Closing in is easier than opening up. That's why goals are rarely abundant in competitive games.
6. Fitness first.
7. Fancy skills are fun to watch and deadly on the foot of an expert. If you're not a pro, don't bother. Play the pass.
8. Control and accuracy needs practice.
9. Enjoy the game.